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I'm not quite who I used to be, but who I was has helped me become who I am. Now I am who I am. Who I was and who I am will in part determine who I become, but I'm not quite there yet.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

To Serve.

For quite some time now, I've been saying to God - wherever, whatever! I will go, do, serve in the capacity that you see fit for my life. That's pretty easy to say; it's just simple words. But, I have learned that if you don't really want to serve the Lord, don't tell Him you will. That's just being a hypocrite. Besides, He already knows your heart, you can't lie to God. You see, God told me what He wanted me do. You know what I said? Nah, I'm just going crazy - that's not God; He wouldn't want me to do that. Instead of accepting that this is His will for my life, I spent quite a bit of time trying to reason and negotiate with God about it. I don't have the personality for this, I said. Look at my past, all the mistakes and REALLY bad choices I've made over the years - how could You want ME to do this? There are so many wonderful people in the world who are far more qualified. But you know what? God doesn't see my past mistakes and REALLY bad choices I've made. He sees me for the person I am today. The person who loves Him and lives my life for Him. I still make plenty of mistakes, but at the end of the day, God washes me clean, over and over again. Could He choose someone else who hasn't made the bad decisions I've made? Absolutely. Could He choose someone who doesn't continue to make mistakes? No. Because everybody makes mistakes and everybody has a past; some are just worse than others. Have you ever taken a piece of fruit that looked kind of rough on the outside, but once you peeled it and cut away the bruises, there was still some good left? That's me. Looking at the mistakes I've made, I look pretty rough, you'd never guess I'd be good for anything. But God can use the little bit of good that's left. To quote a movie line - "these almost rotten plums make the best jelly". Just for kicks let's look at the other side. Fruits and vegetables that are nearly perfect. Potatoes are the worst. You think you've got this real nice potato and you put in the oven and bake it, get the butter and sour cream ready and you cut that thing open just to find a big rotten spot right in the middle. Once you cut away the bad part, there's hardly anything left, and you never would have guessed just by looking at the outside. That's how a lot of people are today. On the outside they look near perfect. They go to church, they're involved in service projects, they attend prayer meetings, sing in the choir; whatever needs to be done, they're there to help. But if you could take away the outer peel and see inside their soul - I believe it would be almost rotten. That's a bad place to be too. It makes it hard to come clean. After all, everyone already thinks you are! But believe me, just being involved isn't what matters. Doing what God leads us to do, for the purpose of serving Him, is what really matters. It's not being involved that means something, it's your motive, your heart. Take it from someone who knows from experience - doing everything because you can, means nothing compared to serving in the one or two areas because you know God has called you to do it. Today at church as we ended the service, and I sang the words "take my life and let it be; all for you and for your glory" it meant far more to me today than the many times I've sang it before. Although in the past when I've sang it, I thought I meant it, it really felt like I meant it, but I don't think I really did mean it. Not until today. What was so different about today? Today I honestly meant it. You see, this past week, I quit trying to reason with God and I surrendered to His call. I'm going back to school to get my degree in Ministry! I'm hoping to have my four-year degree in about 18 months (we'll see) and in the meantime, I can honestly pray, God - wherever, whatever, I'll serve in the capacity that You choose for my life. To pray it and really mean it - I've never felt anything like it. If you notice, when I started out, my words were "I've been saying to God" - one quick note just in case you need something to think about: saying something to God is not the same as praying to God. Until next time, Blessings!

1 comment:

  1. Update: Last week I completed my last course towards my degree. This summer I will graduate with my Bachelor in Ministry.

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